The End of Women?

There is much said about the end of men or men becoming obsolete.  But wait a minute.  Is there a shred of truth in that? Men are doing basically the same things they did fifty years ago.  The percent of married men with children have dropped a few percent in the workforce over the years.  So what role has changed?  Well, it’s not the male role, it’s more likely the female role.  I think it’s more accurate to talk about the end of women and here’s why.

Sixty years ago women’s role was dominated by being in the home and birthing and caring for children. Nearly 30% of married women worked but many more were stay at home moms. They were really good at it.  The culture praised them for their compassion with children, their nurturing abilities, their dedication to their children, their love for family and respect for men.  Do you see much of that anymore? I don’t.  The worst of it is that we now sub-contract child care to those who don’t really love the children in the same way a parent can love them.  This is done just so women can partake in the male role. Hmmm.  Does that sound like the role of men is ending?  I don’t think so.  It’s even more confusing when you realize that women are trying hard to be like men, to take on their role, you know, those people whom feminist leaders blame for everything and ask why they can’t hate them.  Those people. 

When was the last time you saw a woman praised for her compassion, kindness or nurturing? When was the last time you heard a woman offer a kind word or a word of praise about men in general?  Maybe a bit but not so  much.  It is clearly the female role that is changing and yet what we hear from women is that it is the male role that is ending. Why this projection?  Why the need to deflect from their own loss and point to another as the real loser? Pretty strange when you think about it.

Perhaps it’s because they either really miss the old role and are denying this, or they are ignorant of what they are missing.  Either way it seems clear that women have been indoctrinated/brainwashed by feminists and are succumbing to their new role without complaints.  Maybe a function of the female in-group bias.  Who knows?

When my children were young both my wife and I went part time enabling at least one of us to be with the kids pretty much 24 hours a day.  I can tell you that this was a wonderful time of my life.  Yes, it was a huge pain in the butt but the payoffs were astronomical.  My kids grew up knowing my temperament and I grew up knowing theirs. We each made adjustments for the other and during that time they knew they were stewarded by a parent who loved them.  And the parents got the benefit of  being a part of a loving living unit that day in and day out gave the children a space to grow where they faced limits and love all in a container with both a mom and dad on hand.

Why is this important?  Well, firstly because the very thing I valued so highly in my own history is what women are now missing.  They are trashing their old role and feigning contentment.  Just look at the happiness studies and who is it that is considerably less happy today, men or women?  Yep, it’s the women.  Could they be so dulled that they don’t realize they are trading in the area where they excel and find joy for one that is not bringing them the satisfaction and happiness?  Do we hear even a slight peep from women saying they miss their closeness and intimacy?  I don’t.

Research is now finding that a baby and parents have what they are calling bio-behavioral synchrony. Yes, they are finding that their hormones synch up and the baby responds to this synchrony as do the parents.  One of the findings is that when the fathers oxytocin goes up so does the baby’s.  This is an astounding finding that simply by one parent’s increase in a hormone the other is also raised.  Interesting stuff, but it gets even more interesting.  The baby is particular about the types of behaviors that raise its oxytocin.  What they have found is that the baby’s oxytocin will raise when the father engages in exploratory play, stimulatory behaviors etc while the baby responds to mom when it is nurtured with cooing motherese they call it, gentle nurturing touch and  you get the picture.  Today’s babies are missing hours and hours each day of that mothering role and sadly they are more and more missing the role of dads.   Both of these are being shown to be instrumental in the health and development of the child.  And both of these are getting more and more rare.

So now what do we have?  We have babies who are thrust into environments where the chances of someone with the same attachment as mom and dad is infinitesimally small.  No one at day care is going to have the same attachment and the same nurturing behaviors as mom or dad.  No one.  We are robbing them by limiting the female role and excluding dads from the home.   

It’s a sad fact that really what we are seeing is the end of women as we have known them.  Sad but true.

2 Replies to “The End of Women?”

  1. Thankfully, some of us women had good grandmothers and mothers who taught us what love was.

    My Mother has a photograph of my at the age of 2, with bread dough on my little hands—she was teaching me how to bake bread. In front of me, are two small bread loaf pans.

    I owe everything about what it truly means to be a woman, from my Grandmother and Mother.

    From the smallest things such as comfortable, clean houses that smelled heavenly by whatever was cooking in the kitchen; light perfume on collars of pretty dresses and tight hugs that were meant.

    I will forever and always be eternally grateful.

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